January 15, 2006

Deifying the Do-gooder, plus a digression

(cross posted from my blog...)

He is a good man. Totally.

Before you know it, he gleans all the rot in you.
Spare the evil forces, he does not.
And he is not a violent man, either. Gentle on his foes, and a friend to the needy.
I am not talking about Rajnikanth's next film, nor am i tryin to convince you about the administrative prowess of my friend who wants to run for student president.
I am here to give his share of justice to one of mankind's recent friends, the one who stands by you in the loneliest of times, giving his life and breath to save the life and breath of his breathren...
Put your hands together for Mr. Toilet-Nozzle....
(i wanted to call this entry 'An ode to the toilet nozzle', but that would have meant losing the suspense factor...)
The man who thought up this innovation has to be a genius. One of the most-overlooked-though-integral needs of the human race, and it took us 2000 years to invent him! How dumb are we...
Back to the creation himself, i can tell you from everyday experience about how much better he is as compared to the 'traditional' methods of cleanin yourself after a p/pee, and how good he makes one feel as a worthy substitute for tissues or "hands"(dont go 'yuck' yet... hands were/still are the way of life for god knows how long..)
I dont know if my frequent exposure to the lukewarm squirts from the toilet nozzle hav created this illusion of being clean on the underside, but it might just hav had an impact on my fast dwindling bathing frequencies... ah, every invention comes with a side-effect?
In some sense, he makes you feel like Jesus christ.. Show him one cheek, and you end up showing him the other too... and sometimes u forget yourself, coz he makes it so easy for you to do other stuff wen u r at it... like reading the ahmedabad times(which,btw, has to be the world's second worst newspaper after the Mumbai Mid day) or the Khalil Gibran, which i was reading today...
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Digression: (excerpt of a short story from the Khalil Gibran.. verbatim)
Once i said to a scarecrow, "You must be tired of standing in this lonely field".
And he said, "The joy of scaring is a deep and lasting one, i never tire of it".
Said I, "Its true. For i too have known that joy".
Said he, "Only those who are stuffed with straw can know it".
Then i left him, confused, and came back a year later, when i saw two crows building a nest under his hat.

Now, what kind of psycho wrote THAT?
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Well anyway, i beseech all of you.
Pray spread the message.
Make this a movement.
Make India a better place to live in.(even NUS and MIT didn't have such technology!!)
Say no to tissue paper. Believe in toilet nozzles. They rock.